Profound Thoughts

Kolkata is plagued by power cuts these days, and during those times there is practically nothing to do... and as we all know, the idle mind is the devil's workshop... so these profound thoughts and observations are a direct result of Calcutta Electric Supply Corporation's inability to produce adequate power. Samples, not only mine but others in my vicinity, in random order:

  • In Kolkata, specially buses, there is no concept of a singular lady. There is only the plural: Ladies! Even if there is only one of them trying to de-board, the conductor still cautions the driver: "Ladies"; or "Ladies, ek jon" (translation: Ladies, one person). Haven't tried to correct them. It's like "Xerox": no one says photocopy here. it's 'xerox', even when done on a Canon or a Panasonic.
  • The worst ads are those by "saria" (iron rods). All of them feature a celebrity with the iron rod in their outstretched hands. Be it Sanjay Dutt, Mithun (here in Kolkata he is still the rage), Prosenjit (national award winning actor) or Sourav Ganguly. Oh man, the creative geniuses behind these ads need some serious help.
  • We need to introduce CAT style entrance exam for politicians. To prevent overage participation, a hundred meter run (target: in 14 seconds) would also be part of the exam. This should take care of 70% of our politicians.
  • DB and I were seriously considering the options of buying an island each near India and proclaiming ourselves as the Kings! The discussion went till the point we reached United Nations, but then, power supply was restored :( India just lost two new neighboring countries!
  • Oh, btw, it's Aro's birthday today. And I have promised Prashant that my gift to Aro this birthday would be a matrimonial ad in this Sunday's TOI Delhi on his behalf. Let me go ahead and execute this. I can almost audiolize (did I just make this up? If we can visualize, why can't we audiolize?) the conversation between Aro and me, between the numerous phone calls he would get on Sunday, cursing me and promising me that he would take revenge. Can't wait, really. Once in a while I do enjoy these sadistic pleasures. Happy birthday, Aro :P
Long live power cuts!

11 comments:

Rohit Talwar said...

In Delhi: DITTO for Ladies and "Gents" (Jants, actually.)
Ditto for Xerox as well.

And by the way, most of those torturous things in print and TV are also because the MBA dickheads sitting in the client's office dictate the terms. Like the other day, on a much-hyped meeting about an upcoming campaign for a leading "brand", even before we could be aware of the motive behind it, understand what they want to say and who are we talking to - - we were told it has to be a certain celebrity led (if I take names it'd be public before they sign on the shining contract with that certain jackass) - so tell me, what are the creative guys left with if you limit them so much? Ok, if you have a celeb, let us at least portray him differently. But no, he has to appear well-combed talking about shit. I am not saying most agencies don't take an advantage of this too, because it saves their ass - they can just turn around and say "client ne manga tha celeb ke saath" when they couldn't give two hoots about an idea and anything close to their work.

Oh man, that's one long comment.

~ ॐ ~ said...

Ladiss should always get a seat in the baas !!!

about the Ad... its a must !!! no jokes here...

ok thoda sa joke.. but its still a must :D

Aro said...

Ladies kole bachha...I love this line.....

And Tell CTC to do something about power,


I am changing my phone number....

B. O'Hemian said...

@RT
I guess in Kolkata there is no importance of 'Gants'!!

It's like this: mention anything remotely related to "Ad", and RT goes senti!

@Om
Oh, totally serious about the ad.

@Aro
Love that line too :)

What will CTC (Calcutta Tram Corporation) do about power?

You think you can escape by changing your phone number? I have your address, remember? You want girls and their parents visit your house? I can do that if you want.

Reeta Skeeter said...

LOL@ owning an island...pliss call me for a visit when you own one... I would love to see what his highness offers in the name of hospitality :P

B. O'Hemian said...

@Skeety
The royal palace and the guest house will always be open for my friends. The only condition is you will have to get me food packed from Karim's, Chandni Chowk. If you are coming from any other place, the condition changes of course.

Butterfly said...

I don't get irritated when I hear "Ladies, aaste" while getting down from the bus because that happens very rarely. Most of the times, I am still hailed "bachcha"! Gets on my nerves!

And being the owner of an entire island would be very cool.:-)

B. O'Hemian said...

@Butterfly
Ha ha! I can imagine you being irritated at that!

Adisha Agarwal said...

hahaha... good one... I have never been to Kolkata.. so it's a GTK info...

n BTW... did u actually get that ad posted.. i really wish to see the ad and to know the results of the same.. how many calls did Aro get...???

B. O'Hemian said...

@Adisha
Na... the ad is on hold. Aro got serious about that. But, come to think of it, why should I spare him? He never spares anyone, does he?

Adisha Agarwal said...

no he does not... and in the idea of getting this ad published.. i m totally with you.. and will be there to make fun of Aro once you get this all into the papers... waiting for that day... :)