Mission Better Drivers (in India)

Driving in the narrow chaotic roads of Kolkata, there are many situations each day where I get the urge to get off the car and beat the hell out of some drivers. Fortunately, the urge is only for a split second and I continue driving on after a shake of head / a few choice words. My top picks with those situations, and proposed solutions to them:

The "horny" driver: Get a meter attached to the horn and make it mandatory. After a specified amount of honking, measured in minutes, the owner of the car has to purchase additional minutes.

The lane changer: Without indicators in rush traffic that is! Get the surveillance cameras in use, and make it mandatory for the drivers to attend driving lessons. Special classes on lane driving can also be arranged which repeats and reinforces the same concept to the point of death by boredom. Much like the 300 lines of "I will not cause pandemonium in class" that I had to write in std 7.

The line crosser: Same as the lane changer. Particularly annoying, since some of them think that's the right thing to do! On a fine Sunday morning, when the roads were empty, I stopped at a signal. A taxi came in a few seconds later, in a very cool way stopped right before the zebra crossing, and signaled me to come ahead - as if I had done a mistake!!! Fines are apparently not deterring these guys, so, why not ask for their time in terms of attending classes?

The Valentino Rossi: Bikers and their fascination of crossing cars (from both sides) and coming in front of the car! Some with helmets, some with two passengers! In some areas of Kolkata, almost all without helmet and most with one or two passengers, all without helmet! Stop them, thrash them, burn their bikes - I can't think of any other solution!

*Deep breath*
*Peace out*